A Letter to the Man Whose Heart I Broke
*This is for someone who does not actually exist.
When we first met, I was astounded by how you carry yourself. You were five years my senior and had a professional job in a reputable company. I saw maturity in your eyes, or so I thought. We were happy, yes. You gave me presents and cosseted me in a way that was most favorable to me. I was immature. I only cared about what you can offer.
Until one day… everything changed.
I grew up. And you did not. Or maybe you did. Thing is, we changed our perception in life. I became too serious that I forgot how to be happy and giddy and live life again. On the other side of the plate, I could not say if you thought it was okay to just slack off. God, I was planning my life and I felt like you have abandoned me. Most of the time, I needed a partner, but you weren’t there. I felt deserted, hopeless, and tired of all the huge shits going on in my life.
I kept telling you about how I feel but you never listened or maybe you caught a few words but could not care less. You did not understand how tired I was—of us. I loved you. ‘Loved.’ I fell out of love and lost my feelings for you gradually… in rivulets. You never asked if the relationship was okay.
I am not happy anymore.
And maybe you were right when you said that what I wanted from you is only companionship. You were a constant in my life and you were there since five years ago. But it isn’t enough, is it?
Maybe we should set each other free. Set me free. What we have right now, though how hard we’d try to fix it, will already be forever tainted. There are things that are not just worth fixing anymore. I’m sorry but I just don’t love you now like I did before. Thank you for the memories and old times well spent. I will never forget you and you will always have a space in my heart.
